Monday 6 September 2010

Life Is Relative :

Life is 100% relative to your situation.  Your life is built on your expectation.  What you expect from a situation will determine whether or not you will be let down or amazed.  For instance, if you’re going see a movie and someone tells you it’s a great movie, and all you hear about it is how good it is.  You go to see it and it doesn’t live up to your expectations.  Well, your then a little let down even if the movie was pretty good.  Every aspect of life is like that.

 If you’re going through a tough or bad situation it feels so much better when things get better.  The tougher or harder the situation the better it feels later.  I myself have gone through it time and time again, and I don’t expect it to stop.  I just live for the good times and survive through the bad times.  For me things are a little more extreme mainly because I am bipolar.   So, the good times are really good and the bad times are tough.

Early in my life I went through a tough situation.  In middle school, I went through a public school hell.  I wrote a piece on it, but it made my private high school experience so much sweeter.  The middle school I went to was about ninety percent black and high school I went to was about ninety percent white.  I went from being picked on every day to being voted class favorite.  But all those wonderful high school years set me up for a big letdown later on.

After high school, I went on to college to chase my dream.  Things were great for about a year or so.  Then my long time high school sweetheart broke up with me.  Well I stayed in college from then on I struggled.  I failed a Calculus class and a few others along the way.  But, what kept me motivated was the fact that no one expected me to graduate college.  Again expectations comes into play, I pushed on an graduated college.  It felt unbelievable to graduate, but in my mind I thought graduating college would fix all my problem.  By that time, I had started dating a girl that was great, smart, pretty, going to be a doctor.  The problem was that I didn’t love her.  In my mind I thought me being an Engineer and her being a Doctor, we would make a boat load of money and be perfectly happy. I found out the hard way that money does mean anything.

Once again expectations come into play, I started working as an Engineer in a really nice office thinking this is going to be great.  I so realized that I hated working in the office. I found myself hating my job and dating a girl that I didn’t want to marry.  So what happened, I had a mental break down went into a mental hospital for a week.  I came out a different person.  A few weeks later I broke up with my girlfriend and quit my job.

It’s been over four years since I broke up with her and about the same since I’ve worked as an Engineer.  Now, I’m almost thirty and I’m single.  I can honestly say that I’m just about as happy now as I’ve ever been.  Yea it’s hard watching all my friends getting married and having kids.  And yea I feel a little jaded because I’m not sure if I want to bring another girl into my life.  I’m a little worried about the future.

To everyone out there that are in bad situations, just make it through and know that better days are coming.  No matter what tomorrow is a new day and things somehow someway work themselves out in the end.       

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